Having now been a Christian for a number of years I never thought that my salvation story hadn’t yet been complete. My salvation story hasn’t ended, but has continued to unfold. In recent times a new chapter turned and God had been waiting for this chapter and this part of my story, all my life. Because now it is a time for a new day, a new song, and for me to know Jesus in a whole new way.

I tend to er more on the introvert side than my extrovertedness. I am a people person, but for me to be able to keep fuelled, I need to have my alone time so I can meditate, reflect, hope and process life. For a person to really know my core, my dreams, visions and my heart, can take a bit of time. I grew up very guarded and was on mission to protect the most real and tender part of me, my heart. Although it may have seemed that at times I wore my heart on my sleeve, I certainly kept the most part of it locked behind doors of impenetrable steel with a security system that would have trumped the White House (hah!.. see what I did there? ;) ... )

It was time for God to undo a part of my heart that I didn’t realise was still locked away, hidden, trapped and still captive. I thought I had known true freedom, but as it turns out, I didn’t and still don’t… yet. Before I knew what God was up to, things had begun to take place. There were certain triggers that threw me back to the past; old habits, old thinking and a girl that I didn’t want to become again. With counsel and good people surrounding me, I was soon enough walking through a world of hurt and pain that I didn’t want to feel or remember. But God knew what he was doing. You see this time God was with me and it would be at this time of my life that I could handle the pain and find freedom in a way that a new song would erupt from my heart.

Sometimes going back to a place in our past is necessary to continue forward movement into all that God has called us to. The past can hurt, it can feel debilitating, and it most certainly takes you somewhere that you have tried so hard to move on from. But if these past hurts are still holding us captive, how can we know true freedom and help to lead others to it? There is no fear or shame in going back to what seemed like a now distant past life. Jacob had to face his brother Esau, Joseph was to face his brothers who sold him into slavery, Moses had to return to Egypt, Paul who was once Saul, had to go back and face Peter and the disciples after a history of persecuting and murdering his very own people. Each one of these characters had something in their past they needed to face and the most obvious common denominator of each is that on their path and journey toward freedom, they had encountered the living God who would walk alongside them… guarding them… and loving them…

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