Clipped Wings

Sometimes as Christians, we feel the need to be the 'fixers' of our world and the people in it. We offer our time, advice, and a helping hand out of love and care for others especially during the worst of circumstances.

Im the kind of person who will always put their hand up to offer help, but there have been times when my idea of 'help' for someone I care about, has turned into the kind of 'let me fix you and your situation,' type of help. And at the end of it, it has sometimes done more harm than good.

The gospels teach us to love others and our neighbours as ourselves and we need to be careful that our love for others doesn't turn in to our taking control of their situation.

Naturally, when we see someone we care about going through something gut wrenching, we want so badly to help make things better. But when does caring turn in to control? When does loves become pressure for another? It happens when you think you know the answer to the situation and when you believe a certain formula will 'fit and work' because you have all the faith in the world for things to change and well... You're a Christian. And you know a better way...

One afternoon I went to hang out the washing out in the backyard and as I walked out through the backdoor of the house, I noticed something white and fluffy laying on the step just outside the door. As I stepped closer, Yoghurt (my dog) came running towards me and grabbed that fluffy white thing and ran off with it. Curiously, I ran after him to find out what it was. He sat himself on the grass and began chewing on what turned out to be the wing of a bird (bones, feathers and all!).... mortified, I screamed and yelled at him to drop it and let it go, but he continued to chew on it and tried to escape from me. It occurred to me in that moment that even in the animal kingdom, something so natural could come as harmful to another life. And I realised that sometimes we do the very same thing. We clip the wings of the ones we care about. That a natural care and concern for a situation of another, can give us uninvited permission to try and take control and fix what seems 'wrong.' We are not the fixers of people... we are simply the vessels by which the Fixer can come and mend, heal, restore and redeem. If anything, we are to be the agents and carriers of love.

There is never a right way to helping people but making sure that we keep our motives pure and that it comes from a place of love is a start. Let us be the kind of people that act purely out of love and not assume that what we think will work, will help the other. Ask them what they need from you and do what they ask. And even if you don't agree with their life choices, love them anyway. Be the kind of person that they need - an agent and vessel of the love of God.

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